Mom update September 2010

Here's an update on my mom form this article: http://tommy38.newsvine.com/_news/2010/02/25/3950460-i-need-help-in-dealing-with-my-mothers-dementia

I know that it has been a while since I posted to the group but I have been busy, some days I look after my mom while my dad watches my niece and nephew (his grand kids). I have more free time now because my nephew is in grade school all day and my niece goes to kinder garden in the afternoons. This means that dad only has to watch my niece until 11:30 and then the rest of the day is free.

I haven't been around much because my parents no longer have Internet access and it was to much hassle to drag the laptop around while I traveled out to their condo, it has been nice to get away from all the negativity here lately and spend some quality time with my mom, just her and I, one on one.

One thing that I noticed was that when spending time with just the two of us, my mom seemed to be less prone to repeating questions as she is when all the kids are around. I think it is easier for her to focus on a single interaction, rather then having so much input that she is over whelmed. We spent some time going thru old pictures and separating them into piles for the various family members, and I let her tell me about what the pictures were about, rather then asking her if she remembered a picture. The visual aids of the pictures appears to help her memory. I have also noticed that after we are done she will talk about things we were not looking at in the pictures that happened years ago. I do not know if the pictures help her make connections or what, but it seems to me that on days that we do this activity she is more engaged with her surroundings then on days when she is around the grand kids and trying to pay attention to them (you know how the youngsters are, they want you to "watch me" do this and that!)

I have also been able to just spend quiet time with mom and enjoy that. At times she will repeat questions over and over and I usually answer her again the first few times, then if she continues I ask her about herself, like if she has done anything fun lately, and that seems to break the repetition of questions as her train of thought changes.

Medically they are thinking of doing some ct scans to see if she has any changes in her brain size related to her dementia. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, who knows!) they can't do the PET scans as she has had aneurysms clipped. They would like to do these since my aunt (her oldest sister) has advanced Alzheimer's. I guess it really doesn't matter since there is really no effective treatment for the disease, what do we gain form a diagnosis that has no treatment.

All in all I have found myself looking forward to spending time with her, rather then avoiding it, which is a big change from when I wrote the first article. My favorite thing is that she still remembers that I am her baby boy! I do have a younger sister, but for some reason my mom has started to refer to me this way in the last few years, maybe she is trying to keep me and my two older brothers distinct in her mind? What ever the reason it is my favorite thing to hear because I know that she still remembers who I am. I am trying to prepare myself if that should change, but I try to live in the moment and enjoy the time we have now rather then worrying about what may be!

Thanks to all who have helped me deal with this issue and for those who have joined the group! If you know anyone on the Vine or elsewhere who you think would benefit for the group, send them along and will get them in!

Meanwhile good health to you all and much happiness for you and yours!

Tommy